The Age In between

I have been thinking a lot about the stage of life that I am in.  Psychologists have coined the time from after college to 30 or so as "Emerging Adulthood."  The textbook I teach from gives some descriptors about this particular age group.  They are all dead on but  a little hurtful too.  The one that seems to ring the most true for me and many of my friends is that during the 20s most people feel "in between."

The most clear place that this in between comes into play is that we are no longer adolescents and some would say not quite adults.  Honestly, I agree.  Clearly we have grown up some more than high school kids, I hope, but I was not comfortable with being an adult until recently. Paying bills, going to bed at a decent time, saving money, all were things I postponed.  Now I relish them and feel good taking care of business.

I have thought about some other areas where the 20s are really an age in between.  All of my examples come from my own life and have been shared with friends and others who tend to agree.  If you disagree or experienced life differently more power to ya!

Relationships 
Single. Married. New Parents. 

The 20s are totally a time of transition.  I honestly do not know anyone who has any of these categories figured out in their 20s.  There is always something that keeps us striving to be better at whatever our relationship and family status is, which I think is a good thing.

I also think that no matter where you are there is always something more that you may want.  When you are single you want to be married.  Married?  People start asking when you are having kids 10 seconds after you say, "I Do."  It appears there is always something more that can be added to label us in order for others to understand and relate to where we are.

Housing 
Campus Housing.  Parent's House. Roommates. Your Own Apartment. First Home.

Trying to figure out where you will live as an almost adult has been one of the strangest times of my life.  Leaving campus housing and moving in with my parents after college was not very grown up of me but it was necessary.  Then I moved out for a few months, moved back in with the momma, moved out, moved back, and now I am living on my own in an apartment I pay for and have no intention of going back.

Apparently we are referred to as the boomerang generation by some smuck who lives in his mothers basement.  We leave and try and make it on our own and then run out of money or lose a job and move back in with our parents while we earn another degree or find another job.  It is just so fun.  Of course the plan is t be independent and own your own home.  This thought terrifies me.  Having to do home repairs on my own house sounds like the most middle aged thing I could ever do.  I have not yet resigned myself to home ownership.

Clothing 
Jeans and T-Shirts. Sundresses.  Dressing too Old. Figuring It Out. 

Man college was the best.  I miss wearing jeans and t-shirts for every occasion possible. After college I had a hard time finding my style.  I found a teaching job a year out of college and was excited to buy some "big girl" clothes.  I failed.  I either just bought more junior clothes that I tried to make look professional or I went shopping with my mom and bought nice pieces that were 1o years too old for me.  I either looked like a teenager or a 40 year old that first year.  It was awesome.

I feel like I have found more of my style that fits my age group and career.  I still have days where I don't quite have it together, like last Thursday when I loved my outfit at home and then despised it once I got to work.  Overall progress has been positive and cute.

Jobs 
Not a job not a career

Oh man how many jobs have I had this decade of life?  Easy answer, too many.  My work has ranged from office work, to Starbucks Barista, to Drama Teacher, to Sub, to nanny, to 3rd grade teacher (I lasted 2 weeks by the way), summer camp counselor, tutor, worship leader, youth pastor, unemployed bum, professional student, English teacher, and now high school counselor.

Clearly, I have had my share of jobs.  As I have grown up I have moved into a path that is more of a career and I have a job that many people work at as a career for the rest of their lives.  I still think there is more in store for me, like a doctorate degree and working at a university, maybe writing a book, or something.  I am happy with my job, but there is still more I want to accomplish.

I am sure most quit reading this long post or just came to the only part with a picture.  This is me in my student teaching days.  I totally rocked the worlds of girl's 8th grade basketball team.

Friendships 
Hey you seem cool, can we be friends?

Is it just me or is it stinking hard to make friends after college.  Had I realized this I hope I would have worked harder to make more lasting friendships in college.  I have some wonderful friends and I am grateful for them.  They are from all stages of my life so far childhood, high school, college and work.

Making quality friends these days is just a challenge sometimes.  There are so many labels that separate us.  Married, single, parent, homeowner, unemployed, unfashionable, overachiever, etc. I think one reason it can be challenging is because the 20s are a decade of such intense change.  My life has changed drastically over the last 8 years and I know that I have not always been the best friend I could be.  I can be selfish and too involved in my own life to notice who I could befriend.  I can make up excuses as to why I am not close with someone, "Well they have a kid and they only hangout with people from the MOPS group (MOPS is Moms of Preschoolers, if you are a hip, Christian mom you probably to to MOPS.)

The fact of the matter is that we are all in some sort of transitional phase.  I do not know anyone who has their stage of life figured out yet.  I can be impatient and often want things to work out..... NOW.  I have learned through my 20s that that just isn't how it is going to work.  I can worry about what my life will look like on the reg or I can take each day as it comes.  I can look for new jobs, graduate schools, dates, friends while I am content where I am at.  It is a tension of enjoying where you are and still looking for the next opportunity to move forward.

For today I will enjoy this season I am in because I know that I will not have this time again.  One day I will look back at it and think I was a knucklehead for wanting things to be more settled and figured out.   Relaxing and not worrying are hard for me sometimes.  However as I have been reminded this week worry is pointless.  Why exert energy and lose sleep over something you can not control?  Life can change very quickly and I am excited to keep on going about my day and seeing where I will be in the next few years.