I was contacted last month by the creator of Overcome The Lie and was asked if I would like to participate in their Blog Tour this month. After reading through their website and social media I knew this was something I would love to contribute to.
This organization exists to empower women to live a life free of the lies that they have been told in their lives and live in the freedom that comes from Jesus.
When I started to think about what I would write about today I thought about past lies I have overcome in my life. Lies that boyfriends, the Church, or just mean-spirited people have said about or to me. However, when I was at church a few weeks ago I changed my mind.
I went to church with my mom a few weeks ago around Christmas. The church my mom goes to is the church I used to go to. There are many wonderful things about this church and I enjoyed going there. I learned a lot about the Lord and was able to serve the youth group in ministry and go on mission trips to Central America.
While I was an active member in the church it was very difficult to find a place to fit in. For some reason not being married in and in your twenties is like the Church's "Island of Misfit Toys." I was acquaintances with some very nice women, but it never was a friendship. We just did not have much in common and I had nothing to contribute to the"my kid did this" conversation.
The other girls my age tended to help in the youth group and that was where I found most of my friends. It was a difficult group to work my way into and it took half a year for many of the other girls to be friendly towards me. With time we because friends. However, under that friendship was always an unspoken tension. A competition to stand out from the crowd.
In order to be accepted into this group of ladies and a few gentlemen too one had to bash others who just did not quite fit in. I am not even kidding you, if there was a small fault in a person it became magnified and gossiped about. I am not sure how being mean towards others makes you cool in church, but many people seemed to buy into it.
The example that comes to mind right now involves the church's associate pastor. He is an extremely recognizable man and loves to perform. Any time he can sing a solo for church he will. I am not sure how I can even capture the amazingness of this man, except to compare him to a black Tom Jones. A real thing of beauty man.
For some reason his enthusiasm for the Lord and for singing became something to mock. I am sad to say that I too would tease now and then and now I fell terrible for being so rude.
I left this church, partly because I was tired of the meanness. When I went back with my mom a year and a half later everything felt different. The associate pastor took the stage and was prepared to sing in a small group of men. He was as joyful as ever and belted that song out like it was going out of style. While I was sitting with my family that accepted me no matter what I didn't view him through the critical lens of competition and cynicism I had used before. Instead I saw a man doing what he loved and sharing his joy with anyone who would let themselves be open to it.
I realized then that the lie I am overcoming and hope others my age can overcome is that trying to dismiss someone else's joy will not make you any happier. The competition we bring into our social interactions and the need to fit in do not belong in church, or anywhere really.
I am still finding out how I can keep changing these ways in myself and not judge others. For anyone that I may have hurt with my judgment or withdrawn friendships I am sorry. I hope that more of us can work to overcome the lie of judgmentalism, cynicism, and competition.
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