Tales from the Classroom

My students are weird.  

It may seem like a mean thing to say, but really I love that they are weird.  I love that they feel safe in my classroom or around campus to be more themselves than I would have ever been in high school.  They are open, adventurous and brave and I love them for it.

With this boldness to be who they are there are some moments where I either laugh out loud, scratch  my head, or just stare at them totally dumbfounded.  Last night I was helping May with her homework and I had one of those moments. It got me thinking and I have had some strange interactions with the kids I teach.  

These stories are usually my favorites and I thought I would share a few here with you today. I know there are more than just these five, but they were the ones I could think of today. Maybe I will share more another day.

5. God of the Mice
 
Last night I was helping May with her Bible homework.  She had to write a paragraph answering the question "Do you be live in God/god(s)?  If so what is your evidence to prove that God/god(s) exist?" 

Me: May do you believe in God or gods?

May: Yes.

Me: Cool.  What evidence to you base your belief on?

May: Mice

Me (In my head):  What kind of crazy belief is this?  Like because there are so many mice and God created them?  Because there are mice we can see a creative God?  Is there a mouse god I don't know about?  Did Disneyland ruin her brain? 

Me (out loud): So how does that prove there is a God?

May: Because of all the stories.

Me: There are stories of mice being gods?

May: Yes.

Me: Really?  Mice?! 

May:  Yes...?  Well what is Mice?
 
Me: A mouse is a small creature that eats cheese and had ears and is gross.

May: NO!  The stories I mean the stories.

Me: Do you mean myths?

May: Yes that is what I said mice.  The stories of how the gods created the earth.

At Disneyland worshiping the mouse god.

4. The time a student tried to teach me Greek.

Me: Yes that author is some what of a misogynist.  Do you know what the word misogynist means?

Students: give blank looks
 
Me: It means a person who hates women.

George: That is not right Ms. T

Me: No it is.  It comes from two Greek roots. Miso means to hate and gune means woman, like in gynecologist.

George: No you are wrong.

Me:  After you take four semesters of Greek we can talk again.

3. Atomic bombs do not exist

Me: George Orwell wrote 1984 before atomic bombs were used in warfare.  In a way he a prophet of what the future was going to be.  That is part of the reason the book is so good and terrifying.


A girl student who love to debate any topic:Ms. T atomic bombs have never been used.

Me: Sorry, April but they have.  In World War 2 the US drooped two on Japan.  One in a place called Hiroshima and the other in Nagasaki.

April: No that is not true.  I would have learned about it in China if it was true.

Me:  OK. Well we can talk about it after class if you want to, but for now we will drop the subject.

Another student in the class: April, she is right.

April: Oh never mind, I think this is something else China didn't teach us right.  Sorry.

2. Bill Gatsby

Assignment: Write a two page paper about the themes in The Great Gatsby and how they are still relevant to America today.

Student's Paper:  Bill Gatsby was the inventor of a company called Microsoft.  She had a dream of becoming a rich man so he invented the computer so women would love him. 

1. Handsome Jack

Me on the first day of school: We are going to go around and introduce ourselves.  All you have to do is stand up, say your name, where you come from, and one interesting thing about yourself.  Does anyone want to go first?

A student in the front row raises his hand

Me: Great go ahead.

Student: Hi.  My name is Jack. I am from China.  I am a communist and I am handsome.

Friday Favs - Say What?

I am posting pretty late today, but that is the type of week it has been.  I am happy to say that this will be short and sweet for today.  Either I have been living under a rock or this week was just a little boring.  Either way I only have a few favs for you this afternoon. 

First up is the book I just finished.  I read The Cuckoos Calling last week and I can say that I think I liked it.  I will be honest I only read it because JK Rowling wrote it.  I love Harry Potter and could talk about it all. day. long.  In fact I really relate to Nadine and her post about guys being hot because of their love for Harry.

Anyway Cuckoo's Calling was pretty good, but it was no Harry.  The first half was actually really hard to get through.  Kind of like the first half of Deathly Hallow.  Actually a lot like that.  The first half was slow and building up details that were needed for the end, but was just hard to make myself read.  About halfway through it picked up and I could not put it down.  Yep, it was just another Deathly Hallows.  If you are down for struggling through 200 pages so that you can read an interesting 250 pages then I would recommend this book. If you are looking for magic and whimsy look elsewhere.  

The only other thing I really loved this week were the goofy things my students said this week.  I personally am meeting with all the seniors and discussing college plans with them and giving them advice for applications.  I asked them when their applications for the University of California were due.  Too many of them said they were due on November 31st.  Take a minute and think about that one.  Children with 4.11 GPAs told me that their applications for colleges like UCLA and Berkley were due on November 31st.  November. 31st.  Maybe when they are in charge of the world they will make a change to the calendar so November will actually have 31 days.  I am pretty sure I am going to take December 1st of on account of all the tears that will flood the campus when they realize 31 30 days has September, April, June and November. 

Today I was a bad teacher.  I gave the kids time to organized their notebooks that were due today, handed back work and tried to show the end of a documentary on North Korea. 

This is really great by the way, watch it now on Netflix!

 

The speakers in the classroom I use totally stink and break on a regular basis.  Instead of teaching I just decided to play Heads Up 7 Up.  It was truly beautiful.  I don't know about you but this bring back so many childhood memories of hoping someone, anyone would just touch my thumb so that I could guess which weird classmate of mine picked me.

My students were so silly while they played and they totally acted like elementary kids again.  I loved it.  My favorite moment came when this silly kid who gets a little worked up about things had his head down.  Out of nowhere he whined, "This game is just so confusing!"  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  Really it was so cute.  I was so happy that we had 20 minutes of silly time, and I actually tied it in to the chapter we studied on the senses, hashtag teacher of the year.  

Here's to a great week full of silly people.  I hope you enjoy your weekend!  I am heading to the local rodeo to get in touch with my country girl roots! I am sure I will post a little somethin' somethin' on instgram @ericajt

Dispicable May!

Hey folks!  I am up at camp so I thought I would bring you an interview with May, the student who lives with me.  She is 100% awesome and one of a kind.  She is really a great girl and I am happy to introduce her to you today!

What is your name?May!
Where do you hail from?Beijing, (her dad actually engineered part of the opening ceremony in 2008.)
What are some of your favorite things?YELLOW! Blake GriffinMy Family Mom T (that's me!)My TwinMy friendsSpongebob

That time we went to see the Clippers.

What is your favorite subject in school?PE, because I like to be outside. 
What is your least favorite subject in school?History, because it is too hard to remember all the dates and events. 
How long have you lived here?3 years
Why did you come to study in America?My parents asked me if I wanted to because a family friend of ours was here.  I said that sounded like a good idea so I came here. 
What was the hardest part about living in America and how did you overcome that challenge?Knowing the language was the hardest part.  It is hard to practice English because most of us are afraid we have an accent and others will make fun of us.  You have to get over it and realize that everyone has an accent and just keep speaking English as much as you can. 
What is your favorite food to eat in America?In-N-Out (Which is great cause that was what she got for dinner tonight)
What do you miss most about China?The food!  All the food my mom and dad make.  

She acts like she hasn't eaten in 12 years!

What has been your favorite part of living in America?Moving in with Mom T last year (I almost cried!)Playing basketball for the school this year. 

Some girls on the Basketball team at awards night last year.

What has been the weirdest thing Mom T has done since you have lived with her?We did this thing called Sunday Challenges for a few months.  One of us would pick a fitness challenge and then we would compete to see who was the best.  Once time I picked jump roping.  Mom T came into my room and started to jump with a pretend jump rope, and told me to get ready cause she was going to win.  It was crazy!  I actually beat her that week!
What type of music do you like the most?I love the song from Pirates of the Caribbean

Theme by Klaus Badelt on Grooveshark

What is your new favorite country song, cause Lord knows Mom T loves her country rockin'!

Catfish dinner!!  I love it when the song comes on the radio and Mom T sings along.  It is so fun.

That's my Kind of Night by Luke Bryan on Grooveshark

What is your dream job?  What would you most like to do when you grow up?
Live in a pineapple under the sea with Spongebob and Patrick. 

Source

If that can't happen I want to own my own shoe factory and make amazing shoes. 

It is true homegirl loves her shoes, especially her Jordan's.

What is your favorite quote?"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." - Thomas Edison
In a world where people are trying very hard not to stand out and really want to look the same I am amazed at your uniqueness.  You are one of a kind.  Why do you think this is?I think it is because my parents.  They wanted to raise me to be independent and be my own person.  They always encouraged me to do what I like and to have a lot of different experiences.  For example I flew on a plane by myself when I was 6 years old.  
There you have it folks, my sweet May!  Hope you enjoyed our little interview and I hope it helped to shed some light on what many of the students I teach are like.  If you have any follow up questions I know May would love to answer them. 

Using the Disney pass I talked her into buying!

By the way she has assumed that she is going to be famous from this post and be offered many writing contracts.  I of course will be her manager, so please send all job offers through me. 

A Few Reasons I Want to Break Up With Facebook But Never Will

Sometimes I want to cancel my Facebook account and never look back. I mean it can be such a pit of all the worst things in the world.  I am not talking about political rants (those suck) or even stalking exes to see if they are fat yet.  I am only referring to seeing those things that people post that just make you cringe.  The most cringe worthy moments in my life always come from my former students. 
Facebook and teaching can be a wonderful combination.  For example I was able to share this gem of a haiku with all my friends because of "The Book" 

I really hate birds which made this poem the most beautiful one I have even heard.

 I know that teachers being friends with their students is a crazy idea and I agree.  I work at a small private school and for like a year I didn't mind if they were on my Facebook under restricted.  However, I could still see their rants, pictures, and unkind status about my friends and me.  I went on a binge and deleted any current student.  I also have become extremely picky about who I add upon graduation.  I know the big reason teachers and administrators do not add kids on Facebook is because they want privacy and a level of respect that you lose if kids see everything on your page.  Personally, I have been working with teens since I was in college and started using Facebook.  I have nothing to hide on there.  The reason I have made my Facebook-student rules stricter are because I just don't want to see some of the junk that they feel the need to share. 
Yesterday I was reminded of this as I hid several former students from my newsfeed, sorry if you  randomly found this blog.  It got me thinking about all the reasons I never wanted to see when I went to Facebook to see my friends cute new engagement photos.  Things I never wanted to see on Facebook
Pictures of you shirtless with targets drawn on your nipples Yes this happened.  The kid was in my English class and I never want to know what any of those yahoos look like without a shirt.  I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw this.  That bottle(s) of booze you "pounded" before you were 21Where are your brains?  Who posts a picture of their terrible decisions that you are making as a 19 year old?  It makes me sad because I know you are worth so much more than the party life you are chasing after.    Photos of you and your girlfriend/ boyfriend kissing in bed - actually you and your girlfriend/ boyfriend kissing. Period. TEENAGE LOVE IS DISGUSTING!  I actually wrote a post about this here.  I just don't want to see it.  The truth is you don't know what love is, you don't know what you are doing, and when I see your pictures promoting your promescuity it breaks my heart.  You may not understand that you are shaping your life in a way that can cause extreme pain.  The funny gay porn you post when you hack your friend's FacebookWhy?  I just don't get it or want to see it.   Your terrible grammar!  I taught you ENGLISH for crying out loud.  I know you are capable of so much more.  Stop looking like an uneducated bug.  Your rants about the homework you were assigned in high school, how happy you are to be gone, or how much you hated one of my coworkers friendsSave the drama for your mama!  I remember you being sweet and kind and when you go off like this it makes me want to write the college I recommended you to and let them know how you are presenting yourself to the world and revoke my recommendation.    All these things being true there are a few times where I just love having former students as my Facebook friends. 
Reasons Why I love the Book  Sweet emails from students on a random Tuesday afternoon I just got one this week that said,"I just miss you so much!" Photos from when they were in school with sweet captions 

"I miss high school.  Why did I want to leave so badly?"

When they post nerdy ecards or gifs on my wall related to something they learned.One time a girl posted this gem on my Facebook and it totally made my day. 

You remembered something I taught you and related it to your life!

The occassional post that asks a question related to something I taught them  "Ms. T can you remind me of the history of theater?" Or even when they write a haiku that and post it on my wall.

Clearly I am influencing the future generation of leaders for the better.

  When a previous student will write something on your wall that looks a little like this: 

I miss this kid!