Tales from the Classroom

My students are weird.  

It may seem like a mean thing to say, but really I love that they are weird.  I love that they feel safe in my classroom or around campus to be more themselves than I would have ever been in high school.  They are open, adventurous and brave and I love them for it.

With this boldness to be who they are there are some moments where I either laugh out loud, scratch  my head, or just stare at them totally dumbfounded.  Last night I was helping May with her homework and I had one of those moments. It got me thinking and I have had some strange interactions with the kids I teach.  

These stories are usually my favorites and I thought I would share a few here with you today. I know there are more than just these five, but they were the ones I could think of today. Maybe I will share more another day.

5. God of the Mice
 
Last night I was helping May with her Bible homework.  She had to write a paragraph answering the question "Do you be live in God/god(s)?  If so what is your evidence to prove that God/god(s) exist?" 

Me: May do you believe in God or gods?

May: Yes.

Me: Cool.  What evidence to you base your belief on?

May: Mice

Me (In my head):  What kind of crazy belief is this?  Like because there are so many mice and God created them?  Because there are mice we can see a creative God?  Is there a mouse god I don't know about?  Did Disneyland ruin her brain? 

Me (out loud): So how does that prove there is a God?

May: Because of all the stories.

Me: There are stories of mice being gods?

May: Yes.

Me: Really?  Mice?! 

May:  Yes...?  Well what is Mice?
 
Me: A mouse is a small creature that eats cheese and had ears and is gross.

May: NO!  The stories I mean the stories.

Me: Do you mean myths?

May: Yes that is what I said mice.  The stories of how the gods created the earth.

At Disneyland worshiping the mouse god.

4. The time a student tried to teach me Greek.

Me: Yes that author is some what of a misogynist.  Do you know what the word misogynist means?

Students: give blank looks
 
Me: It means a person who hates women.

George: That is not right Ms. T

Me: No it is.  It comes from two Greek roots. Miso means to hate and gune means woman, like in gynecologist.

George: No you are wrong.

Me:  After you take four semesters of Greek we can talk again.

3. Atomic bombs do not exist

Me: George Orwell wrote 1984 before atomic bombs were used in warfare.  In a way he a prophet of what the future was going to be.  That is part of the reason the book is so good and terrifying.


A girl student who love to debate any topic:Ms. T atomic bombs have never been used.

Me: Sorry, April but they have.  In World War 2 the US drooped two on Japan.  One in a place called Hiroshima and the other in Nagasaki.

April: No that is not true.  I would have learned about it in China if it was true.

Me:  OK. Well we can talk about it after class if you want to, but for now we will drop the subject.

Another student in the class: April, she is right.

April: Oh never mind, I think this is something else China didn't teach us right.  Sorry.

2. Bill Gatsby

Assignment: Write a two page paper about the themes in The Great Gatsby and how they are still relevant to America today.

Student's Paper:  Bill Gatsby was the inventor of a company called Microsoft.  She had a dream of becoming a rich man so he invented the computer so women would love him. 

1. Handsome Jack

Me on the first day of school: We are going to go around and introduce ourselves.  All you have to do is stand up, say your name, where you come from, and one interesting thing about yourself.  Does anyone want to go first?

A student in the front row raises his hand

Me: Great go ahead.

Student: Hi.  My name is Jack. I am from China.  I am a communist and I am handsome.