You Are Not ALWAYS Pretty

This weekend I went in for my lovely hair appointment.  I try really hard to only get my hair done every three months, because well it is expensive.  Waiting that long is really hard for me because I like to try new things and I want my hair to be the perfect length and have my roots be non existent.Anyway I waited three months like a good girl and went to see Katie, my hair guru. Katie is great and she is a genius with color.  No joke I have seen her work on others and it always looks pretty and almost natural, we all know it will never be totally natural what with regrowth and all.  I wanted to go darker this time and have an inch or so taken off.  I showed her my inspirations and she loved it and then went to work taking me from blonde to a brunette beauty. 

 Before and after.  Last time she did my hair we went very blonde.  This time we went April Ludgate and Robin Scherbatski and I think I love the results.  

Before: This summer at a summer concert.

After: chillin' on the couch at home.  Ah Sunday Fall mornings.

 After my lovely time at the salon I called someone I love dearly and respect beyond belief to say hi. They asked me how my hair looked and I said it is pretty.  Then I said I was always pretty so it was no surprise that I was even more pretty now.  Almost immediately after I said this boastfully playful comment I was told, "You aren't always pretty." I was so caught off guard by this that I quickly said that it hurt my feelings and that I needed to get off the phone.  Before I hung up I tried to explain that I was being playful but that I actually did think that I was a pretty person.  I like myself and I think that is a good thing.   After awhile I received a text message from the person I had this awkward conversation with explaining what they meant.  It boiled down to them thinking that all I thought was good about me was that I was pretty.  They wanted me to see other qualities that are more eternal in myself, such as kindness, loving, peaceful, humility.... I told the person that I do see those qualities, we just happened to be talking about my hair and appearance earlier.  We ended our conversation understanding each other, but not necessarily agreeing about the appropriateness of saying you look good on a regular basis.  Despite the level of respect I possess for this person I can say that I am still going to say positive things about myself and overall like who I am. This person will still think it is better to be humble and not talk about themselves.  I think both ways are OK but because this is my blog and not their's I want to share why I think it is good/healthy to use positive lanuguage when we talk about ourselves.  1.  If I don't like me who will?I don't know if you noticed but the world can be a nasty place sometimes.  People are constantly picking on what makes others less than adequate.  For example, I just found out there is a website where people bash blogs.  That is all they do, get together and bash on why they hate people they never met.  There are times where you may be a very small voice of encouragement towards yourself in a world that loves to be negative and hurtful.  If I were to look at myself and only see faults I would see that I am too tall, I have one tooth that sticks out a little, and my eyes shake when I am tired.  These are all things that people feel the need to inform me of. I know these things and I love myself anyway, thank you. 
2.  It is good to be self awareThis is different from those who are self involved.  They don't really love themselves, they are obsessed with acceptance and they are only worried about themselves.  I am talking about liking yourself good parts and less than good parts.  I know what I am good at and what I am lacking in.  I like to focus on those things I am good at and let that help me become better in my weaknesses.   3.  It sets a positive example for othersI have very few memories of women in my life taking about themselves in a positive way.  I think we are our own worse critics and the criticism we give ourselves tends to be very harsh.  Almost every woman I know is on a diet all the time, trying to find clothes that fit them well or make them look thin, trying a new Pinterest recipe that will make them seem domestic yet hip, or looking for that relationship that will help them feel like they are worth while. I get it.  I struggle with these things too.  However, I believe we are more than just being thin, hot, married, and a domestic engineer. If our primary focus on conversation is measuring how we do not add up in these areas as a woman we are bound to fail.  If we talk about things we are good at and aspects of ourselves that we like we show others that it is good to be confident and we have so much to offer the world. 

Yes, I do Regina, I hope that is OK with you.

I will add that I do not think we need to go around tooting our own horn 24/7.  It is simply when given the opportunity to be positive or negative I believe being positive is always the way to go.  I also want to say that only seeing yourself as pretty is really dangerous too, which I think is the problem my friend had. Look for things that you are good at and qualities that are lasting.

What do you think?  What are some ways to share our confidence with others without making them cringe?

In closing I just want you to know that you are smarter and prettier than you think you are.