So Where Are The Rats?

In case you didn't know I recently moved into my first house that I own!  this is both exciting and terrifying.  While it is so nice to have my own place and not have to give my money to a landlord, I really am going to miss being able to call someone to come fix things for free when they break.  I mean have been throwing a pity party for myself over the fact that if something breaks, dies, or creeps into my house I am the one who has to deal. 

I am pretty sure I exude single lady.  I mean behind Beyonce I am it.  If this photo doesn't scream I live by myself and will enjoy this packet of Nutella on one cookie as I sit on my couch and watch day old episodes of How I Met Your Mother, I don't know what does. 


If the photo above was not enough awesomeness for you, here is what my bedroom floor looks like tonight.  A diet coke bottle, pop chips and my shoes fresh from a three mile run.  Aint no one around to tell me to clean up!



After moving in I have on more than one occasion said something utterly revolting that went something like, "I am so happy to have a new place. I just wish I was married to a guy who ya know, could just handle installing my appliances, moving my junk, and killing the bugs."  It is cool if you are a feminist and no longer find me followable.  I get it.

True confessions aside I really am happy to have my house and most of the time I am not a little child about everything.  I like to think it is just the stress talking when I get all crazy about that stuff.  

I will say though that moving into a home by myself has really taught me a lot.  Not so much about how to do things around the house, lets be honest I hire people to do that.  Rather I have learned what people shouldn't say/do to the lovely young woman living in a house by herself because you are probably scaring the bejesus out of her! 

1. You could install her new washer but forget to install the stabalizers so it won't shake their way into the middle of the garage during the spin cycle.  Who doesn't love running out to your garage and trying to turn off a machine that is on the loose?

My run away washing machine.

2. You can assume she is not a lush.  The former owners left a ton of booze in their cupboard that I found when I moved in.  Everyone, including May, thought it was mine.  Many a handyman or repairman has asked me when the party starts and if they are invited.  

3. Offer to help instead of just watching me and two teenage girls carry everything.  I hired people to move the big furniture but they were done in three hours and we had to work for the rest of the weekend.  I am sure it is entertaining to watch us struggle with my file boxes and garbage bags, but after a good laugh come look silly with us.  

Most effective packing method ever.  It is catching on around these parts.

I am quite the task master.

4. If you are checking wires or cables, please for the love of all that is good, do not ask the lovely lady standing in the room waiting for your inspection to end if she has seen any rats yet.  That is not cool bro.  What am I going to do if I have rats?  I for sure am not going to be killing a rat, setting a trap for it, or even acknowledging that rats exist in the animal kingdom.  I need to live in the blissfully ignorant state of a world that exists without rats. 

After a panicked call to my mom, who else am I going to call about this stuff, I was able to calm down. There are no rat droppings anywhere, my house is clean, and I am not a mole person living underground.  However, every time I hear a rustle or a squeak of the door I am terrified Big Brother is coming with that rat contraption they used to break Winston in 1984.  

Totalitarian nightmares of rats eating my eyes aside, I would have to say I am so happy with my new place.  I snapped a pic of my old apartment before I moved.  I sat down on the floor and thought about this step in my life and that it is a rather significant one.  I am more responsible now.  I have to use my money to fix my fan that won't stop making a weird ticking noise.  I have to go to the hoodlums who take my parking spot and ask them to move, even though they weigh twice as much as me and look like angry drunks.  

Even though my level of responsibility has grown and rats might eat my face, I now have a pool so in the end it is a pretty sweet trade off. 

Oh hey, box of grown up responsibility and rats, I am your new owner.  Please be nice!