Rescued By A Hobbit In A Motor Boat

I am starting to write a book about all the random stories I have complied as a teacher of international students.  I asked my mom to remind me of any of the crazy things that have happened over the last three years.  She brought up all my favorite stores that I already had planned on writing.  Then halfway through dinner she looked at me and said, "Remember when your kayak sank in Catalina?" I actually had forgotten about that time, but that moment in my life, now with two years time to heal, was one of the most ridiculous.  Of course I will write about it in my book, but I thought I would share it with you in a more simple form with some visual aids.

This particular story takes place in April of 2012.  I was teaching juniors and seniors in high school at my current job and I was forced to chaperone the 8th grade class on their trip to Catalina.  When I tried to protest that I was much more valuable actually teaching my students on campus and they should get a teacher that you know actually taught 8th grade, I was told, "You are the only girl who works here that is adventurous and kind of outdoorsy."  I learned that "outdoorsy" meant that I took my classes outside to read a couple of times.

It was my first year there and I think contracts hadn't been handed out yet, so I sucked it up and rode the boat with 25 8th graders and 2 male teachers.

We boarded the bus and within ten minutes one of the kids was carsick and threw up on the bus.  In that moment I knew the trip was doomed.

After what seemed like the world's longest bus ride and then boat ride we arrived to our isle destination for the next three days, Catalina: the Island from Hell.



The first couple days were fine.  I had to make 6 of the most unwilling girls do things like wear a wet suit and go snorkeling.  I had to pretend like it wasn't the most disgusting thing in the world when our instructor told us to pee in our wet suits and that countless people before us had peed in the wetsuit we would be wearing that afternoon.  I kept it together when I had to eat the most disgusting camp food known to mankind.  I was cheerful to sleep in a cabin that did not have windows or electricity.  I even was willing to share the Oreos I brought with the girls (by share I mean bribe. I gave them a cookie every time they did something they didn't want to do).

Day Two and I was still hanging in there.  I was forcing myself to be positive for the kids and it was working.  In the afternoon my group was to go kayaking and I was actually excited for this activity.  I am pretty great at the kayak and well I didn't have to wear the pee suit for this activity. The instructor asked me to go in a kayak by myself and help her lead the group.  I said sure and went out on the Pacific Ocean armed with an oar and a life vest unaware of the danger that would befall me in 30 minutes.

I paddled out a ways and guided the kids to their destination. This part was easy and I was pretty proud of myself for how amazing I was at kayaking.  As a group we went around a part of the island for about half a mile.  As we were going I noticed that it was getting harder and harder to paddle. I had to put much more effort into it and I was getting tired really fast.  All that confidence I once had was quickly leaving.

After a struggle I made it to the group and we were linking up to get ready to go into a cave.  One of the boys held out his paddle so I could reach for it and link up.  I reached for the oar and he quit paying attention and moved his oar before I had a grip on it, 8th grade boys!  I was leaning out too far and my kayak tipped over and I fell in the freezing cold water.

All the kids were laughing, as they should have been it was funny, and were trying to help me get back in my kayak.  For some reason I couldn't get back in.  I kept trying to push myself in and as soon as I would be about to get in the kayak would flip over again.  I went through this process about 30 times and the kids instructor was getting really pissed off at me.  She held my kayak still yelled at me to get in the boat.  By this time I was holding back tears and was freezing cold.

Finally I got in the boat and it did not flip over.  Instead it sank. Yep my kayak sank in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with me in it.  At this point I was done.  There was no happiness to be found on the island from Hell.  The instructor was mortified and apologized for getting mad at me for not being able to get in my boat.  She realized that the kayak must have had a hole in it and was taking on water the whole time which made it tip over easily.  She called the shore and asked for someone to come rescue me and my boat.

I trended water for like 20 minutes and waited for my rescuer to arrive.  In many ways I understood why Rose wouldn't share her piece of wood with Jack and that scene from Titanic came alive for me in that moment, except Leo was a group of 13 year old children.  I would never have shared my door with them.

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Now I should tell you I have seen enough movies where people need to be rescued from the water and I was pretty excited for what was going to happen next.  I was anticipating being saved by a guy that looked like this:

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And instead a motor boat pulled up with this:

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When my hobbit rescuer tried to help me in the boat I almost took him with me.  I am pretty sure sending a guy that was maybe 5'2 to save a girl who is 5'10 was the best idea ever.  In fact I would pay money to watch Frodo save Heidi Klum one day.  Yes I just compared myself to Heidi Klum.

After the first failed attempt he decided he needed to save the boat before he saved me.  He got the kayak tied to the motor boat and 10 minutes later decided he should save the human freezing in the water.  I told hobbit boy that I would push myself up on the boat and he just needed to help me find the bottom so I didn't fall in.  He agreed and i pushed myself up. I told him I was ready to get in the boat and he looked over and forgot about me.  I then fell in the boat and scrapped the whole right side of my body on the boat.  He looked over and said "oh are you ready to go back now?"

We took off and I sat shaking I was so cold and wet.  He had a nice jacket on and was dry, and continued to wear his warm jacket.  A real hero.

I realized in my frozen state that I had been lied to all these years in movies.  When you are rescued from the ocean you will not be rescued by Thor, there are no blankets to make you warm, no hot cocoa to ease your troubles, a hobbit won't even give you his jacket to keep warm.  Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock you lied to me!

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I made it back to my cabin, found the staff bathrooms and took the longest hot shower ever.  I then put on all my clothes and sat on my bunk bed and at the rest of the Oreos I brought for the children.  The rest of the day I just watched and did not try to pretend it was fun.  The next morning as soon as the sun came up I jumped out of bed and yelled, "We go home today!"

I then had to force a girl to go snorkeling again and she cussed me out in Chinese, or at least I think she did, I don't speak Chinese.  I got on another boat this time a little wiser and a little beat up and knew I would never go back to the Island from Hell ever again.