Like I said in the link up announcement on Wednesday the idea for this post and then the link up came to me while I was at Target buying some essentials, Easter candy and capri yoga pants. On my way in I noticed a sight I never want to see; two men in their late 20s holding clipboards asking patrons if they are registered to vote…. The Petition People.
I am not sure how these Petition People roll in your neck of the woods but in Southern California they are aggressive and rude. I have been followed to my car after I finished shopping at Trader Joe's while they yell at me to sign their petition. They have also stand outside the post office terrorizing old people, and they often hit on pretty girls that sign their petitions. They are just winning life.
Whenever I pull up to Target or a shop in that center and I see them I go through my list of ways to get them to leave me alone. My favorite is to say "I am only seventeen, sorry I can't vote." That one usually will work. However, this time the Petition Person chased after me and yelled "Are you really?! Are you sure?!" I decided that it was time to brainstorm some new ways to get around this particularly aggressive herd of Petition People.
Here are my 15 ways to avoid signing a petition.
1. I am only fourteen. (This one quit working when they would follow me to my car)
2. I am only seventeen. (It felt right to say seventeen, I can drive but I can't vote)
3. I am not a citizen of this country. (preferably said in some sort of an accent)
4. I am a Libertarian. Ron Paul 2020!
5. The character Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec was based on my father.
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via[/caption]6. I have already signed this petition five times, that is the limit right?
7. I live in the desert with thirteen guns and a bomb shelter.
8. I am not registered to vote but my dog Mr. Nigglesworth is.
9. I would love to sign your petition, can you just help me figure out how to use my new Instagram account? I have like 34 photos of my cats I want to post. What is a filter?
10. Sure I would love to sign your petition. Let's take a selfie together and tweet it #petetionsigningattarget #epic #government
11. Are you coming on to me? How would your boss feel about that?
12. Sure I will sign it will you just hold all five bags of tampons I just bought, they were on sale. (yells) Thanks so much for holding my tampons! You are a gem!
13. I don't know how to read! (Then run away crying)
14. Sure, I am recovering from the flu so make sure you stand good and close to me.
15. Is this the job you thought you would have when you were 12? Where did it all go downhill?
Bonus!! I will sign yours if you sign mine. I am trying to make it illegal for people to stand outside of Target and harass people to sign petitions that no one cares about.
In order to participate in Listed you will need to:
- Follow Erica Jacquline on Bloglovin (It is only polite)
- Write a post about anything you want that includes a list of sorts
- Add the Listed Button to your post
- Come by Erica Jacquline on Fridays and add your link
- Read other posts, comment, and make new friends
- Shower, rinse, repeat each week
