I feel I need to warn you that this post may not be as funny as I think it is right now. I have been awake since 3:30 am and the time is now 9 pm. I am funning on caffeine fumes, peanut butter cookies, and crystal meth. In case you missed my announcement earlier today crystal meth is my pet name for Chipotle.
I actually went to bed and then had like 11 million ideas and got back up to write this post. Today I decided to go the more vulnerable route and share 12 things I am afraid to tell you… About my dog, Penny.
1. Penny is afraid of some people. She actually will get out of her collar and run away if she gets a bad vibe from another person. This only happened once, so pretty much she met Hitler.
2. Penny is a beardist. Again I cannot believe I am telling you this but Penny hates people with beards. She does not discriminate either, man or woman, black or white, you got a beard she has a problem.
3. Penny has eaten two pairs of reading glasses. I can't even handle this one right now. My glasses are so expensive it is not funny. She found both my regular pair and back up pair and destroyed them. So far new pari is holding up just fine. You can read about Penny The Punisher
here.
4. Actually, Penny will eat anything and everything. I have to leave my laundry basked on my night stand so she can not get another pair of underwear or socks. I am running out of essentials!
5. She likes to bark at hot guys who are not wearing shirts as they run by our house or car. It has become a problem inasmuch as they never even give her a second look. You would think her self esteem would be low, but she is surprisingly resilient and just keeps going.
6. She is most afraid of her own reflection. On a walk around the neighborhood she will want run away if she catches a glimpse of herself in a neighbor's newly waxed car. The mirror in my bedroom is aways a place of constant angst as she looks at her reflection and tries to pick a fight with the other dog she sees.
7. Homegirl can poop. I actually think you guys already knew this one.
8. Penny HAS to be the center of attention for the whole world. If she is hungry or needs to poop (See #7) no on in the world will be able to do anything until her needs are met. She also created her own Instagram. I guess you can follow her if you dare
@penny_grams
9. Penny has strange sleeping habits. She sleeps under my bed until about 1am and then jumps on my bed and sleeps on my hair for the rest of the night.
10. She is the least helpful blog assistant ever. At this very moment she is biting my hand so I will pet her. Shesh she is so selfish. Doesn't she know I am writing about her?
11. Ever since I compared her to Matthew McConaughey,
here, she has been unbearable. Demanding home cooked dinners, threatening to pee on my new rug, and wanting me to hold her donut rawhide so she can chew it at an elevated level.
12. She is one spoiled puppy. Her days consist of laying around on the couch watching Harry Potter. When she is hungry she walks around the house with her empty plate as a way of telling us she would like some more. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it.
Whew that was a load off. I am so glad i was finally able to open my heart and share theses things about Penny with you. I can go on with my day feeling lighter and free.
Please join me for Listed Tuesday and make sure to check off each item on the list below:
- Follow Erica Jacquline on Bloglovin (It is only polite)
- Write a post about anything you want that includes a list of sorts
- Add the Listed Button to your post
- Come by Erica Jacquline on Tuesdays and add your link
- Read other posts, comment, and make new friends
- Shower, rinse, repeat each week
