My Top 5 Fears

Let's face it we all have things that we are afraid of.  Some of those fears are totally rational like dying if we get stung by a bee and we are allergic.  Some are irrational, like being afraid of the color orange (this is actually what a former friend told me once.  I think you can see why I call her a former friend.)  And some are totally bizarre.  Mine are all pretty weird and oddly specific.  I have a very specific reason why I thought of this post which I will tell you as I describe my first fear.  Being hit by a foul ball at a baseball gameI absolutely love baseball and going to the ballpark is one of my summertime musts.  However, I am terrified of being hit by a ball.  Usually my seats are way up in the nosebleeds so the fear is non-existent.  However, when I sit close I have mixed emotions of excitement and fear.  

We were so close I could have died!  I also love using this picture because I have no idea who the bro is on the right.  I just call him Bill.

I actually tell my friends that are with me about my fear and that if a ball is hit our way I will duck and cover and they can save my life. I was heading to a game last week with a friend and her roommate called after me, "watch out for those foul balls!"  I asked if she knew of my fear and she laughed a hearty, "yes."  I then said it was in my top five fears for life.  Then I decided to blog about it.  Now I am the last one laughing because I have this awesome post that will bring in tons of traffic and skyrocket my blog to the top of the charts! or not. Being in a car accidentMy last fear may have been silly but this one is legit!  I have been rear ended like three times and each time is scares the poop out of me.  The worst accident i have been in was three years ago.  I was driving to church and stopped at a red light.  Suddenly my car was being pushing forward by another car that hit me at 45 mph.  She didn't even try and stop.  Well my back was jacked up and still kind of is and my car was totaled.  Whenever I see a car tailgating me or not stopping quickly behind me I have a little mini heart attack.  This is particularly terrible in Southern California where my people just drive like maniacs.     E.T.

 I am not gonna lie, that little guy was freaking scary.  I am not currently afraid of him, but he was my biggest childhood fear.  I would actually have nightmares that he came into my room and would stare at me.  Many people have told me he is cute.  I disagree wholeheartedly.  The worst part about my ET fear is that my initials are E.T.  You can imagine how many times I was teased in elementary school just because of those stupid letters.  One time my teacher heard the kids making fun of me and she gave me extra credit.  I am not sure it that helped the situation, but I am such an achiever at school that I was happy.    
Lunch meatI just think it is gross.  I was a vegetarian for two years, I am close friends with many Seventh Day Adventists and I just don't like lunch meat.  It is gross to me.  Why does it have to be cold?  I like a freshly cooked In-n-Out burger or Salmon, or a BBQ chicken sandwich, but cold meat?  I just can not fathom that stuff. 
 BirdsBy far my biggest fear is of those little feathered creatures God created on the fifth day.  Why did you have to do this God?  They are disgusting!  They fly around pooping on people when they are on a first date, maybe that was just me.  They carry disease.  They will peck your brain out if you let them get too close to you.  They will eat your face and then regurgitate it to their babies.  I mean they are gross.  I hate it when I have to walk places where there are tons of birds and they fly all around me.  It startles me when they fly close to my head, and it is just terrible.  

My lame attempt to make peace with the birds at the Eiffel Tower.  You can see from my face that it isn't really working.

These women are so brave!

  Well friends, I was a little scared to share these fear.  Please do not break into my office and leave live birds and ET dolls everywhere.  I just do not think my little heart could take it!