My Fool Proof Break Up Plan

I am so happy that today if Friday!  It was only a four day week but man was it a doozy!  I am ready to come home, run a few miles, eat a salad and crash on my bed by 8.  My big plan is to go to bed at 8 on a Friday night, I am wild I tell ya, wild!
This week I was picking May up from dinner with her friends and we started talking about moving.  We are moving in just two weeks and there is much work to be done.  She was worried that we would have a hard time moving all the furniture by ourselves because we are just two girls.  She enlisted the help of a friend from school, another girl mind you.  I told her she was so sweet, but I am hiring strong men to do it all for us.  She was extremly relieved.  
I told her that I quit having my friends help me move as soon as I could afford it.  I also told her about a boyfriend that helped me move once and then broke up with me the next week.  The moral of the story is if you are going to move soon make sure you stay with your boyfriend.  They are useful when it comes to moving furniture.  If you can date a man with a truck it is even better.  
May then asked me if we broke up because he had to move my stuff.  I told her I didn't think so but I could never be sure.  I explained that something else happened to his family and he needed to move home, I think... I told her about the break up talk, it was long and awkward, and he walked away with freshly baked brownies while I just walked away. 
After I told her this story I realized this was not the only relationship that ended after I baked something for a boy.  Last Christmas I went on a couple dates with a guy and then made him cookies for Christmas.  I gave him the cookies after a date and then never heard from him again, no joke.  I happen to know that the cookies were delicious, my sister ate 10 in one sitting.  Perhaps he just couldn't handle the fact that I was so amazing AND i could bake like a pro.  That is pretty intimidating to most guys I am sure.  

I agree Dwight, I agree.

I told May that I need to never bake anything if I want to keep a boyfriend.  She laughed at me and agreed.  Then she said that I should keep baking and the man who still likes me is the one for me.  I kind of like her thinking, she is wise beyond her years. 
Other than baking I can think of a couple things that tend to ruin relationships.  I would say texting has been the biggest thing that has ruined potential relationships.  What is with people these days?  Why is it so hard for us to pick up a phone and have a voice to voice conversation.  Nothing is worse than trying to get to know someone and misunderstanding their meaning.  Texting should be reserved for people you know in real life and are farmiliar with their tone, inflection, and sense of humor.  If you are just starting to get to know some one don't do it over text, get to know them in person.  
Case in point.  I was getting to know a gentlemen and he was quite the texter.  I only wrote a little bit to him to be nice, but he would write the longest messages back.  I sent him the following message and then we quit talking. 

My autocorrect changed UCSB to Ivan.  He thought I was seeing someone named Ivan and he did not believe be about autocorrect.  I told him what happened and then never heard from him again.  I was actually relieved, because I wasn't that into texter anyway, I was just trying to be more open to new possibilities.  Lesson learned, keep your standards woman! 

Do not go on a date with this guy!

A facebook friend posted the following article this week and I thought it had some good points about our culture and dating these days.  Check it out here.  
Please share your silly dating stories or tips for others on how to break up with someone baking chocolate chip cookies works for me.