April Is For The Dogs

As i pointed out yesterday I am enjoying my week as a Stay At Home Dog Mom.  Yesterday was no exception.  I went out with Penny and my a friend who is also a teacher and enjoyed a day for the dogs.

We lazed about at the Lazy Dog Cafe in Brea with all the dogs, including the Yorkies in strollers, yes people had their dogs at a restaurant in strollers #ItIsADog!



We then went to the best dog park ever and played with the doggies.  As I have pointed out before dogs just love me, you can read about it here.  I was like a little dog magnet.  They flocked to me and jumped in my lap, followed me when I walked around, and insisted I play catch with them.  I decided since I was the Dog Whisperer I needed to rename all the dogs at the park.  Penny and I had a great time with Reginald, Scotty McDectective, Ebony (Penny was Ivory), and Thomas.

This is Thomas, He adopted me because his human wouldn't play with him.

While I am doing my best to avoid any responsibility and enjoy my days of sunshine and freedom, I realize many of you are busy at work and at school.  I decided it was a good idea to stop rubbing in my good fortune and have my friend Nina from The Grand Adventures of Me take over for the day.



If you are not currently following Nina do yourself and get over to her blog.  She is a gem of a human and a funny funny girl!  Some things that make me love this girl are the fact that she is majoring in English and Psychology, she has the most compassionate heart for people and is passionate about ending human trafficking, and she shares the best stories about stealing tampons.  I am just going to stop talking and let Nina take it from here.

Hello, fellow friends of Erica Jacquline. My name is Nina and I hail from the East Coast: Tennessee to be exact, where we they sing rocky top with pride. #GoVols #ICouldCareLess

If you are a school teacher like Erica, or a student like myself, the month of April is probably the closest thing to hell on Earth.

 Summer break is literally just a sneeze away, but you can't get there yet because you are drowning under piles of papers and papers and papers.

 And if you've ever had a sneeze built up and you can't let it go, you understand that miserable feeling. Yes, that is how April feels to those of us chained to the education ball.

Not to mention, if you live in a temperate climate, it is finally warming up and all you want to do is dance around in fields of wheat and set up your hammock and read books outside and subject your pasty white skin to the sun's harmful UV rays in hopes that you will soon look like Snookie instead of Olaf the Snowman.

 But oh wait! You have to be inside (papers on papers on papers, remember?)

So this pull to go in either direction makes for a lot of stress, right?

Normal bloggers just go to the wine cellar and destress. But as for me, my school has a strict no-alcohol policy, and technically I'm not old enough to consume alcohol. 20 years and 10 months down: 56 days to go.

So because of all that, I have to come up with ways to destress without drinking a bottle of Plum Wine.  Because if I did drink wine, that is the wine I would drink.

 

1. Puppies. Obviously, Erica has Penny the Puppy and she's the cutest thing ever. However, I do not have a puppy. But I do have a postcard of Penny the Puppy and that's the cutest thing ever. It's proudly on my fridge. I go to the local puppy pound and play with all the dogs. Yes, I come out with welts (allergies) but I also come out as a happier person, that is until I am reminded that I won't see them next time I go. I convince myself it is because they all get good and loving homes.

2. Workout. I'm a runner, so that is obviously my workout of choice. But I also like to prove to others that my hips, indeed, don't lie. Zumba is where it is at when I'm wanting to feel sexy, sweaty, and awkward all at the same time. Other great workouts: Kickboxing (for all the aggression), Piloxing (for all the extra energy), and Sleeping. I'm pretty sure you burn calories while sleeping. We'll count it as a work out.

3. People watch. Just go to Walmart. Sit on the bench. And snapchat the most ridiculous looking people to your friends; add it to your story. Laugh for dayz. And by dayz I mean 10 seconds because that's the max time limit.

4. Marathon. Overwhelmed? Stressed? Up to your neck in responsibility? This is the perfect time to start watching House of Cards or Scandal or whatever it is I see everyone tweeting about. Set aside a day to watch all the seasons. Netflix: Can't watch just one.

5. Eat your Pancakes. Do something productive every day. This is the only bullet point I have that doesn't involve avoidance. We see how I handle stress. This is the most important one, though. Doing something productive every day means you actually have time to go play with the puppies. And we all love puppies.

I am firmly against conclusions because they are hard, I don't like them, and there is never a good way to tie up all the loose ends. I hope you enjoyed this list, and be sure to head over to The Grand Adventures of Me because we have a lot of fun with even more lists and fun stories about buying tampons in small towns and other awkward stuff like that!

Thank you so much Nina for sharing your wisdom for surviving April!  I told you all that she was a gem, a funny gem.  Make sure you visit this lady on her Bloglovin and say hello on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

Oh and before I forget do not forget about the totally amazing new link up that is taking over the intervebs!   Come back here tomorrow and link up your post that involves a list.

Puppy Classes, Instagram Filters, and Pink Boxes

Last night Penny and I put our old lady ways aside and ventured outside at 7 pm to go to Puppy Training Class at our local PetSmart.

Before we went to class I was a little worried that I was going to have the "bad kid" or the "smelly kid' or the "sent the teacher to the ER kid" but it turns out I had the star student!  Take that Simba, Chiquito, and Hannah!

[caption id="attachment_1143" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Yes we were a little tired, but we were ready![/caption]

I posted this photo on instagram it had me thinking about all the filter options we have on Instagram and how silly most of them are.  I was acutely going to write a whole post about the questions I have about Instagram while I am choosing a filter.

If I were to have written a post on the Instagram filter choices I am offered I would have asked questions like this:

Why would I ever want to look like a sunburnt Oompa Looma? Kelvin and Toaster I am looking at you! 



 

Also when did it become acceptable to look like a ghost again?  Actually was it ever acceptable to look like a ghost if  your name isn't Casper?

That is right Sierra and Amaro, not to be confused with Alamo (I'll never forget) Why so pale?





And why is is so hard to choose between Walden and Nashville?  

Perhaps I am just drawn to each because or personal bias. Henry David Thoreau I love you buddy.  Nashville, you are the home to my future country star boyfriend Kip Moore.  I love you both.  Please don't make me choose?





Kip Moore, I mean Nashville, you won tonight, your tones of pink were just calling to me.  No, 1977 not that much pink!



 

I was also going to write about the filters on Instagram and how they are different when you try and upload a video.  When you think you are choosing Mayfair you are really choosing Vespar which I think the world really needs to be aware of.

I promise you one of the hardest choices I have to make every day is which Instagram filter I am going to use.  I do not have real problems.

But I decided not to write about Instagram today.  Instead I decided to share a little story with you about how I had to prepare for Armageddon last night.

[caption id="attachment_1151" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Ladies, I know we have all been there right?[/caption]

What is it about Armageddon that makes me want to eat disgusting food like Chili Cheese Fritos?  I guess it is the feeling of impending doom, but there is no science to back me up on that one.

Anyway, last night I knew what was coming and I knew I was ill prepared, so before puppy class I stopped by Walgreens to pick up the necessary supplies to help prepare me for my date with destiny.

I quickly navigated the isles and found my snacks and water and found the pink box in the middle on sale for $8.99.  I always get excited when something I have to buy is on sale.  I then took my three items to the check out lady, thank God it was a lady, sister knew what was happening and gave me the kind, knowing eyes everyone gives when Armageddon is about to befall the land.

She rang up my snacks, but could not ring up the most important item.  She then picked up her phone and called for a price check on the pink box items over the loud speaker.

Hello young man in his 30s that just walked into the store, thank you for making clear and direct eye contact with my pink box and me.  

A lady with red hair wandered the isle where such items could be found, but was unable to find the price.  I decided my dignity was already gone why not spend more time in the pink box isle?  I walked over to show here where I found them and the price sticker that read $8.99 that was listed below the item.  She said "No that isn't it," and walked away.

I went back to the cash register to wait for the price.  Minutes seemed like days and all I could think about were by chili cheese friend waiting to be in my belly.  

Eventually Red Hair came back with the verdict, "They are $9.49" she proclaimed in a huff of price power.

"I showed you where they were marked $8.99 though," I said meekly.  

"No they weren't they are $9.49," Red Hair said decisively.  She then glanced at my pink box as if to say, don't let your turmoil of emotions because of Armageddon rule your logically functioning brain and walked away in victory.

I slowly slid my debit card in the machine knowing I had no argument even though I was right.  I made one last plea to the cashier that I was right, but I did not desire to cause a scene over 50 cents.  I just wanted her to validate that I was not crazy.  She just looked at me and my supplies to survive the week and shrugged her shoulders. 

Defeated I walked away, betrayed by my own kind.  Handed over to what laid ahead only to know that I was swindled out of fifty cents and the only reason I was not validated was the clear signs of doom about to wage war inside my own body.

Armageddon, you vested me this time, but be warned I will win next month when I go to Target and buy a basket full of stuff and hide any trace that you may be near with toothpaste, trash bags, and items from the dollar bins I will never actually use.

 

Penny Explains It All

Hi everyone!  Penny here taking over the typing for Erica today.  She has been a little bogged down at work this week and asked if I would help her out.  Of course I jumped at the chance to look at that box screen she spends time on when she should be taking me for a walk or letting me bite her because my gums hurt from my new teeth.  Erica can be pretty rude.

So far things are going alright at this house.  I mean nothing bad has ever happened.  I went to the animal doctor and she made me stay in a cage all day long.  No matter how much I barked she wouldn't let me out or play with me.  I learned that I like barking from that experience and I now use this new skill whenever I want attention.  I don't really like to bark at "bad people" or scary dogs.  No, I just bark at Erica to make sure she knows I am here.

Speaking of scary dogs I am best friends with some big dogs.  I am not kidding, there is something about a little rat dog that just drives me crazy.  Erica took me to the dog beach and five small friends tried to play with me and I was too good for them. I preferred to play with my friends India, Bear the German Shepard, and Goldendoodle (we both look silly when we are wet).

Now that we are on the topic of getting wet I have to tell you that I am not a fan of taking baths.  Poor Erica has tried so many things to help me get over my overactive bath time routine.  She has tried giving me a bath in the sink in the kitchen, hosing me off outside, and giving me a bubble bath upstairs.  So far my favorite is to jump in the shower with her in the morning.  It gives me time to hang out with her a little more and keeps her home longer because she has to dry me off before she can go to work.  Bahahahahahaha!

I really hate it when Erica goes to work.  I have to sit around the house all alone for like a million hours.  She comes home and plays with me during her lunch and then she leaves again for another million hours.  My favorite time of day is when she comes home and then takes me for a long walk.  I get a little tired and refuse to walk now and then.  I pretty much jump into her arms and make her carry me for a few minutes.  It is fabulous.

When I do walk on the ground I like to play a game where I won't walk on anything round and metal on the sidewalk.  That is weird.  I also like to stop whenever there is a person around and just look at them.  I am a little bit creepy but who can resist this face.

I am so happy that Erica let me clear the air around here today. I really think it is important that you know just how silly she is and maybe you can talk to her about making some better choices with her life.

I am going to go chew on my Christmas h'at now.  I like this hat a lot, but it scares me a little.  If I bite it one spot it will start talking to me.  It says something about having a Merry Christmas."  I am not sure what that means, but I am pretty sure it is a death threat.  I promptly run away from the magic voice.

Kisses,

Penny

*This post was written with partnership with Dropcam, a business that sells pet cameras so you can see the silly things your fur baby does while you are away.  They are looking for more stories to share with social media. If you are interested click the link above or let me know and I will pass along their contact information.

Merry Christmas From The Kids Table

So I am currently at my mom's house watching the Hobbit and trying to teach Penny to be a lady of decorum.  So far she isn't taking to my instruction, but she is cute.  She looks like a little doll today and I love it.



We were at my aunt and uncle's house tonight for Christmas Eve.  My family is quite small, but on my aunt's side there re a lot of people.  I do not quite fit into to any of the age/life stages that are represented at this family gathering.  My favorite people to talk to are my uncle, my mom, my aunt's sister and her daughter.  Really it is fun to talk to my mom and dousing, they are both counselor and make the holiday conversation so light.  Tonight's topic, sex offenders.

After we have exhausted the counselor talk I usually end up with the dogs or the children.  They are just way more fun than everyone else.  They do not get drunk, or care about a football score,or have life issues.  They are just so happy it is Christmas and want to share that joy.

Tonight I played with two sweet little kids and it was wonderful.  Scout, my cousin's dog even joined the fun and it was perfect.  I then drove home to get Penny to go to my mom's house.  I cranked up the radio and sang Christmas songs all the way home.  Think Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle, "horses, horses, horses!"

I love that there are ways to find joy in each day.  I hope you can find a way to be happy and enjoy the wonder of Christmas. Sit at the Kids Table if you need a little refresher on how love Christmas!

So Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart!  I hope you are all singing Feliz Navidad now!

One Month

Dear Human Mommy, 

It is me, Penny, your new owner.  I have owned you for a month now and I felt like we needed to mark this important day with a note on the internet. 

So far I can tell you I like the way my life is going.  You feed me and give me a lot of toys.  Even though grandma thinks I need more I know she just is trying to spoil me.  I really like to take all of my toys and put them in my bed.  It is probably because I am an only child and I do not like to share.  They are mine!

Some things I have decided I really like about living here:  waking up in your bed and eating your hair, pooping on the carpet, figuring out ways to get past any gate you put up in the house, pooping on the hardwood floor, nibbling on your finger, foot, triceps, table, floor, yoga pants, and from time to time my toys.

I also really like it that people come here just to play with me.  I think I am really popular.  I know that no one comes to my house to see you mommy, because they all say my name, or they say potty, It is kind of heard to the the difference between the two right now. 

Somethings that happen around here that I do not like: When you wash everything in the house because I came with fleas and tummy problems, When you make me go outside to party, or is that potty?, when you give me a bath (I like the cuddle after though), when you leave to go to work, when you take me to the puppy doctor and I get a shot. 

After bath time cuddles.

After animal doctor sleepy time.

So far I have been here for some pretty important things.  There was that one time a lot of tall people came over and I blew out the fire on a sugar circle. 

There was that time I was watching hockey with you and I became a Ducks fan, or was I looking at food?  

There was that time I was smoking in the house and you caught me.

There was that time (everyday) where we go for a walk and I just sit there.  And the time I was pondering the meaning of life in the car. 

Overall I would say life is pretty good.  I will stay here and continue to own you.  I will wake you up every morning and I will try and eat your toes every night. 

I am so excited for this month because I can meet other puppies finally and I think I will poop outside more often so you can have fun with your friends again. 

Thanks for loving me! 



Lick lick sniff sniff!
Penny The Puppy 
#themostphotographeddogintheworld

Stop It!

I have a great friend that will always say "Stop it!" whenever you say somehitng playful.  For example when I told him that I need the whole country of China to lose my email address, his response was "stop it!"

Today I only have a little montage of photos of Penny in her various sleeping positions from the weekend.  This impulse purchase is the one that has caused me to loose the most sleep in my life, but dang it if I don't adore that little sleepy head. 

You are so cute!  Stop it!

The small photos from top to bottom: The first time she met rawhide, taking her for a walk usually results in me carrying her around the neighborhood as she sleeps, drinking water is so hard.  The large pictures are just of her being so cute. 

I hope you have a lovely day and find a puppy to hug! 

Your Puppy Questions Answered

So buying a puppy makes you 13099713% more popular. My friends and family come over all the time now and text me to get more pictures.  As it is now day four with puppy I have received many questions from her fans and I thought it was time to answer them. 

1.  What is her name?Well her name, as of right now is Penny.  When she is misbehaving I call her Penelope Anne because every dog needs a middle name. 
2. Do you love The Big Bang Theory?Why the heck would you ask me that? 3. There is a character on that show named Penny.  Isn't that why you named her Penny?Oh There is? I had no idea.4.  Well then why choose Penny?Oh just a few reasons, The Beatles, Almost Famous, LOST, Happy Endings, my fake Starbucks name to name a few. 5. How much did she cost?A pretty penny. 6. How old is she?2 months exactly.7. Where did you get her?A pet shop. Please stop judging me for not getting a pound puppy.  Oh man remember Pound Puppies.
8.  Is she house trained?Well I have had her 4 days so clearly yes I have a magic dog who already only poohs outside. 9. What does she do when you are at work?I am not sure I am at work. I imagine she has sweet dreams of little dog Thor's and football fields full of grass to play in and eat. 10.  Can I have her?Yep.  I bought a dog so you can have her.  Happy Birthday!

Puppy

To start this wonderful Monday I want to thank you if you are coming by from Helene's blog!  I hope you like what you see and decide to stay awhile! If you haven't heard of Helene please go over and check out her writing.  She is a wonderful writing with a ton of joy and positivity in each post.

I have no awesome transition so let's just dive on in.  Welp, I did it.   I took the plunge and I own a puppy.  I wasn't planning on getting a puppy this weekend.  In fact I wasn't planning on getting a puppy this year.  I have wanted one for a long time but I figured I needed to wait until the summer to buy one when I was on vacation from work.

Saturday started with me going to a nearby university to find out about a doctoral program in education. By the way it appears I still can pass for a high school student.  When I tried to find out where my information session was they directed me to the undergrad session.  I tried to explain that I actually am looking into getting my doctorate and they did not believe me.  My look young secret: drink lots of water.

After that I went to brunch with my mom.  After brunch I asked her to walk down to the puppy store with me.  Whenever I am in downtown Glendora I visit the puppy store.  It is usually torture because I want to buy them all and I can not.  This time was different.

While we were there I looked in and saw the cutest little puppy.  She was just chilling eating paper.  I went inside and my mom asked me if I wanted to hold her.  Of course I did!  Then I held her and the rest of the day was spent buying puppy stuff and and trying to pick out a name for this little girl!

She is a mix of a Cavalier Charles Spaniel and a Miniature Poodle, otherwise known as a Cavapoo.  How cute is that.  She is already so friendly and easy going.  I have only heard her bark once and her temperament is ideal.  She will play for awhile, run around with her butt bobbing up and down like a bunny, and then crash for an hour.

Last night she slept from 10-4 with out waking me up.  After she went potty outside she went back to sleep until 6.  We woke up then and I took this picture.  How can you be mad at that face?

She is by far the most friendly puppy I have ever seen.  There has been a flood of people over at my house all weekend just to play with her and she has loved it.  Below are photos of her meeting some very important people.

Bonding time with auntie Justina.

She loves her auntie Lauren Graham.... I mean Laura.

The text I sent to May to get her out of bed this morning.

May, Puppy, and Gatsby

Even my mom loves her.

It has been non stop crazy here this weekend.  I cannot think of a weekend where more people came over just to hang out.

This little girl is by far the most photographed dog in America right now with hundreds of photos on everyone's phone.  I am still looking for a name for this little one. Please leave your suggesting in the comments below.