By The Numbers (Hint 25 Might Have Something To Do With Money)

Right now I feel like my life is a little bit crazy.  The end of the school year is not a fun time and this year I know it is going to be wretched. I am not being pessimistic, just realistic.  I decided to get through the rest of the year I needed to make a countdown of days, maybe even have a paper chain. I really miss paper chains! Elementary school, and last year were the best!

So here is my life according to the numbers

26 - The number of school days left this year

27 - The number of days until I treat myself with a massage

17 - The number of students in my one class. I actually think I will miss those crazies!

0 - The number of days until my half birthday!  Woop happy half birthday to me

30 - The age I will be in 6 months

1 - The number of times I was almost arrested for a crime I did not commit. (another post for another day).

8 - The number of months Penny has graced the earth with her presence

3 - The number of days since my peanut butter cookie binge

2 - The number of tickets I want so I can see the Ducks destroy the Kings in the second round of playoffs.

25 - The number of dollars you can win to Starbucks from today's wonderful sponsor!

I am so excited to introduce you to the lovely Noelle from Sunshine and Pearls.

Let me have Noelle tell you a little about her self and her blog!

Life gets crazy so I write. This whole blog experience has been a wonderful way to meet new women that inspire me on a daily basis. I write about all the craziness of a typical 25-year-old trying to make it. My quarter life crisis, wedding drama and the crazy addiction to online shop are my normal posts. Come on over to Sunshine and Pearls and have a laugh with me!!

Some of my favorite posts from Noelle are the time she relived her terrible date with a man who talked to her with a crab puppet. I also love this super sweet post that her fiancé wrote about proposing to her at a beautiful winery.  I think my favorite is this post is this one where she writes about the beauty of being yourself and not stressing about everything else that goes into it.

Because Noelle is such a gem she is giving away $25 to Starbucks. So make sure you follow her and enter for your chance to get your coffee on!

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12 Things I Am Afraid To Tell You About Erica: Penny's Prerogative

So yesterday Erica took to her blog and decided to share 12 Things She Is Afraid To Tell You About Me and after learning how to read last night I read her post and I was outraged!  I felt like I needed to come over here and defend myself against those grievous accusations.  However, I realized most of them were true.  I then decided the best revenge would be to tell you 12 Things I Am Afraid To Tell You About Erica, actually it should be 12 Things Erica is Afraid of Me Telling You, but I was going for continuity.

I have also decided to use my Penny's Prerogative post to address this pressing issue as The searches that lead the fine folks of internet searches to Erica's blog were not that exciting this month.



1. Erica is the worst at sharing her food.  She makes some delish items for dinner and she NEVER shares it with me.  I will bite her shin, starch her ankles, make the cutest eyes at her and nothing.  I have had to resort to jumping all over her or causing a distraction on one side of the house and hope she leaves her food on a table I can reach.  It doesn't always work but I will never forget the In n Out burger of December 2013.



2. Erica likes to sleep too much. Last night for example I woke up at 1am and I really wanted to play with whoever was outside our house.  I barked and barked for Erica to let me outside, but she just stayed in bed.  She then tried to take me outside to potty, but that was not what I wanted.  I do not understand why she would need more than 2 hours of sleep.

3. She will not let me play with the drug using neighbors. They tried to pet me last night as we walked to our car.  They said I was soft.  They also had long white sticks hanging out of their mouths that were stinky.  I think they are my type of people.

4. She never takes me anywhere!  Apparently she has this thing that no other human being has called a "job."  She will leave for like 8 hours and then come back later in the day.  I think it is just made up because there are plenty of people who live by us without these so called jobs (see #3).



5. I only bark at men that run by the house because Erica won't. I am a mind reader and I can tell she likes them.  She is just so shy she won't stand up for herself and bark to let them know she is interested. I guess I have to do everything around here.

6. Erica wears the best smelling shoes in the world.  I just want to smash my face in them and then eat them.  I have gotten my teeth on two pairs of shoes so far and I am always on the lookout for more.



7.  Erica said yesterday that I poop a lot and I would have to agree.  You know who else would agree Taro Gomi the author of Everybody Poops. Hence Erica poops and so do you. Stop judging me.

8. Erica sprays herself with stinky stuff all the time. I always sit in the bathroom while she is getting ready in the morning and all her sprays make me sneeze.  She sprays stuff on her hair to make it shine and to make it stay in place.  She sprays stuff on her skin to smell like heaven and she sprays things to clean up the sink.  I am telling you this girl is killing the earth.  Al Gore would be mad.

9. Erica would like you to believe that she is fit and healthy.  I would disagree.  I go on all the walks she goes on and I can tell you that she only will walk for like an hour every day.  How is someone supposed to get their wiggles out in an hour?  If Erica was less lazy I know she would be a better person.



10. Erica has taught me to replace my feelings of sadness with food.  Whenever she leaves me for the day she gives m a treat for sitting and staying in place.  I am now a dog who eats her feelings.

11. Erica is disgusting and takes a shower every day. I cannot believe that she would do that to herself.  She tries to give me a shower or a bath once a week and that is too much.  Who in the world would subject themselves to showers every single day?



12. Last but not least, Erica is crazy loud when she watches the tv show with the white ice and little men hitting a ball around.  The last game we watched she started to scream at her TV.  I tried to calm her down by barking a lot and biting her hand, but that did not help.  She is just uncontrollable.



Well friends I am so glad I was able to share these fascinating tips with you.  I really hope you know more about Erica and the girl she is trying to hide from you on a regular basis.  I also hope Erica has learned her lesson and will think twice before she write all my secretes for the internet to read.

12 Things I Am Afraid To Tell You About Penny: Listed Tuesday

I feel I need to warn you that this post may not be as funny as I think it is right now.  I have been awake since 3:30 am and the time is now 9 pm.  I am funning on caffeine fumes, peanut butter cookies, and crystal meth.  In case you missed my announcement earlier today crystal meth is my pet name for Chipotle.

I actually went to bed and then had  like 11 million ideas and got back up to write this post.  Today I decided to go the more vulnerable route and share 12 things I am afraid to tell you… About my dog, Penny.



 

1. Penny is afraid of some people.  She actually will get out of her collar and run away if she gets a bad vibe from another person. This only happened once, so pretty much she met Hitler.

2. Penny is a beardist.  Again I cannot believe I am telling you this but Penny hates people with beards.  She does not discriminate either, man or woman, black or white, you got a beard she has a problem.

3. Penny has eaten two pairs of reading glasses.  I can't even handle this one right now. My glasses are so expensive it is not funny. She found both my regular pair and back up pair and destroyed them. So far new pari is holding up just fine. You can read about Penny The Punisher here.

4. Actually, Penny will eat anything and everything.  I have to leave my laundry basked on my night stand so she can not get another pair of underwear or socks.  I am running out of essentials!

5. She likes to bark at hot guys who are not wearing shirts as they run by our house or car.  It has become a problem inasmuch as they never even give her a second look. You would think her self esteem would be low, but she is surprisingly resilient and just keeps going.

6. She is most afraid of her own reflection.  On a walk around the neighborhood she will want run away if she catches a glimpse of herself in a neighbor's newly waxed car.  The mirror in my bedroom is aways a place of constant angst as she looks at her reflection and tries to pick a fight with the other dog she sees.

7. Homegirl can poop. I actually think you guys already knew this one.



8. Penny HAS to be the center of attention for the whole world.  If she is hungry or needs to poop (See #7) no on in the world will be able to do anything until her needs are met. She also created her own Instagram.  I guess you can follow her if you dare @penny_grams



9. Penny has strange sleeping habits.  She sleeps under my bed until about 1am and then jumps on my bed and sleeps on my hair for the rest of the night.

10. She is the least helpful blog assistant ever. At this very moment she is biting my hand so I will pet her.  Shesh she is so selfish. Doesn't she know I am writing about her?

11. Ever since I compared her to Matthew McConaughey, here, she has been unbearable.  Demanding home cooked dinners, threatening to pee on my new rug, and wanting me to hold her donut rawhide so she can chew it at an elevated level.

12. She is one spoiled puppy.  Her days consist of laying around on the couch watching Harry Potter.  When she is hungry she walks around the house with her empty plate as a way of telling us she would like some more.  She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it.



 



Whew that was a load off.  I am so glad i was finally able to open my heart and share theses things about Penny with you.  I can go on with my day feeling lighter and free.

Please join me for Listed Tuesday and make sure to check off each item on the list below:
- Follow Erica Jacquline on Bloglovin (It is only polite)
- Write a post about anything you want that includes a list of sorts
- Add the Listed Button to your post
- Come by Erica Jacquline on Tuesdays and add your link
- Read other posts, comment, and make new friends
- Shower, rinse, repeat each week

The View From Row U

Holy mother of Moses!  You guys, this year's Stanley Cup Playoff (hockey) is already so exciting!  If you are new to this little space you should know that this girl loves hockey and to be more specific she loves the Anaheim Ducks.  In case you do not believe me or think I am a bandwagoner, you can read of my love here here and here.

Last night, from the comfort of my couch, Penny and I watched the Ducks come back from 2 -4  against the Dallas Stars and win 5 - 4 in overtime. I was very excited as was Penny. I think my whole condo complex knew what was happening during the final five minutes of the game. I was that excited.  With their win last night the Ducks are moving on to the second round of the playoffs and will either play the Kings or Sharks, a California series that will be epic.

I am sure as the playoff wind on I will give you a guide of sorts, but that is not what today is for.  Today is about the thrill of seeing playoff game in person.

On Friday my buddy Justina and I made our way to The Honda Center for game five of the Ducks Stars series.  I had saved some money knowing that the Ducks were going to make it to the playoffs this year and I needed to see a game. Actually I won some money in Reno when I went to the sports book and bet on the Ducks, so it seemed appropriate to use that money for a game.  Because it is the playoffs tickets are pretty pricey and we could only afford the ones in the very last row of Honda Center, Row U.



Despite the highest seats ever, we made the best of our situation.  We were positive and decided our seats were amazing because you could see everything and there was no one behind you that might kick you or spill their beer on you.  We also had the nicest family sitting next to us that had positivity oozing from their pores.  They kept offering to buy us things and were so proud of our hockey knowledge.  They gave Justina their orange Ducks towel when one of our neighbors stole her's and the nice family ran us down because she left her cell phone at the end of the game. I think I adopted them, but forgot to tell them.

[caption id="attachment_1523" align="aligncenter" width="600"] You can see the whole game really well from the top. And there is no on behind you to spill their beer on you.[/caption]

Life in Row U was shaping up rather nicely.  There were some rather ruckus Ducks fans sitting on the other side of the nicest family ever, but they were three people away and cheering for my team so it was cool.

Then the unthinkable happened.. During the first period a group of Dallas Stars fans sat right in front of us in Row T.  I honestly didn't care that they were Dallas fans, I did however care that they were bereft of social graces and kindness.  The man who sat in front of me decided that he was going to let everyone know who he was cheering for despite the detriment that it might cause the beautiful young lady sitting behind him.

He moseyed on over to his seat in section 403 Row T seat 2 and sat his booty down whilst wearing the following headwear during the game.



I paid $50 to look at this stupid cowboy hat all night long.  By the way, how completely out of place is a cowboy hat at a hockey game?  It is almost as bad as 6 inch hooker heels, another post for another day, but worse, because it blocked my view of the best hockey team ever.

To be fair he did take the hat of for a good part of the game, but whenever the drunk Ducks fans from Row U would start to get all riled up and yell slurs about people from Texas (something about steers and well you know) he would place that hat back atop his head. I guess he really wanted us to think he was a steer.

At one point I was so fed up with cowboy that I very kindly decided he needed to be a gentleman and a true cowboy and remove his hat while indoors. I leaned forward and had this conversation with him.

"I am not sure why you are taking your anger out on me.  I am a really nice person." - Really Nice Erica

"What are you taking about." - Rude Cowboy

"Whenever you put your hat on I cannot see anything.  I am not the one who is yelling terrible things about people from Dallas.  I am just trying to watch some hockey and enjoy the game, but I cannot because of your hat." - Blessed are the peacemakers Erica

"Whatever." - Cowboy leaves his hat on.

"Hey you should take of your hat, she is really nice!" - Girl sitting next to cowboy who was taking selfies all. night. long.

"What?" - Confused Cowboy

"Please just take off your hat, I want to see the game." - Me

With reluctance he takes off his hat, for a few minutes.  He then returns the hat to his head every time the Ducks scored a goal in the third period (that was three times). 

The game ended and I saw a pretty good portion of it and left the Honda Center feeling rather serene for my passive resistance to the social injustice that I encountered (joke! I know that this was nowhere near social injustice).

Although I did find the sliver lining of sitting in Row U I would in no way be opposed to the Anaheim Ducks giving me seats at the glass or a box for a playoff game so I can actually enjoy the sport the way it was meant to be enjoyed, not behind the dumb cowboy hat of a fan of the opposing team.

I am also pretty sure at this point in my blog journey the Ducks should make me the blog ambassador for their organization. I will go to all the home games, take fabulous photos, and educate all the blog readers on why hockey is the best sport ever.

Anaheim Ducks, organization, I promise you I will make so many beautiful women hockey fans in a year that you will need to make this my full-time job.

[caption id="attachment_1519" align="aligncenter" width="600"] We love the Ducks![/caption]

Enough of this tomfoolery, but really Ducks I will be your ambassador for the blogs, think about it.  Dear readers, in case you are interested in loving hockey now is a great time.  We are moving into the second round of playoff and things are heating up.  I will be back later to this week to fill you in on all that is happening in hockey,

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="214"] via[/caption]

Listed TUESDAYS and A Giveaway, Yay!

Happy Sunday friends!  I hope you are having a great weekend.  I just wanted to pop in for two extremely quick announcements.

1.  Listed Fridays is now Listed Tuesdays.  I am not a competitive girl and I realized there are so many Friday LInk ups I needed to mix it up.  So come back here Tuesday to link up your Listed post! Here is a reminder of the rules and the mission.

Please join me for Listed Tuesday and make sure to check off each item on the list below:

- Follow Erica Jacquline  on Bloglovin (It is only polite)
- Write a post about anything you want that includes a list of sorts
- Add the Listed Button to your post
- Come by Erica Jacquline on Tuesdays and add your link
- Read other posts, comment, and make new friends
- Shower, rinse, repeat each week

<div align="center"><a href="http://www.somuchsunshine.com" title="Erica Jacquline"><img src="http://i1356.photobucket.com/albums/q738/ericajt/Listed_zps4ebfb2ef.png" alt="Erica Jacquline" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

2.  I said there were two announcement!  I am one of Melyssa's sponsors at The Nectar Collective this month and we are giving away fabulous prizes.  You will want to enter to win below!

The Fairy Princess Diaries | Kayli Wanders | Adventures with Esther & Jacob | Club Narwhal

Near and Far Montana | 27th + Luxe | Megan Joy Jaunts | Hi and Lo

Erica Jacquline | Alix Hamilton | Ink + Adventure | The Nectar Collective

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Jess Loves This Life

I can already tell that this is going to be an amazing weekend.  The Ducks beat the Stars last night, and I was there for it, my booty is so sore from the crazy Pilates class I went to yesterday, and Penny did not wake me up at 6 am today.  I can also tell it is going to be an amazing day because I have the delight to introduce you to a real life firmed of mine.  Jess and her dog Duke from Jess Loves This LIfe. 

[caption id="attachment_879" align="aligncenter" width="700"] See we are real life friends![/caption]

1. Tell us about your blog, Jess Loves This LIfe: What do you like to write about? What do you hope people walk away from your blog with?

I like to write about my love for life (hence the title of my blog). I started my blog as an outlet for myself when I found out I was potentially facing cancer for the second time. I'm currently in my last phase of treatment for precancerous cells in my right breast, and blogging has saved me from my own negative thoughts. Initially I wanted to blog about my journey as a cancer patient, but since so much of my life was already consumed with that, I decided I wanted to blog about the positive things in my life instead. Anything from going on a fun date with my fiancé, trying out a new recipe, random brain dumps, and my puppy of course! I hope people walk away from my blog feeling at least a tiny bit happier, and a tiny bit more appreciative of their own life. I also hope those who read my blog realize that even the tiniest things in life are really freaking fabulous, because that's something that I've learned and come to appreciate in my 3+ years of being sick.



2. Give us a brief intro on your dog, Duke. 

Duke is mine and my fiancé Andrew's first puppy together. He is kind of the king of our home, and our hearts, and often we refer to him as King Duke. He's really spunky, really loyal, and super sweet! He's also kind of a little dummy. He often does weird things that even he doesn't understand, and things that normal doggies do (such as try to get a few bites of their humans food) he just doesn't get. It makes for a good laugh, but it's also convinced me that Duke is in fact actually a human.

3. How did you and your dog meet? Who doesn't love a good meet cute story?

Duke was the runt of a litter my sisters dog had. Her dog ended up having a LOT more puppies than they expected (11, to be exact), and my sister herself had just had her 4th baby so keeping that many puppies wasn't possible for them. I was really hesitant to get a pup since I was going through so much, health wise, but this little guy really needed a home. One day he just showed up at our door, totally unannounced because my sister was going crazy with too many puppies and babies. Andrew and I quickly ran to the store that night, Duke in hand, and bought everything we needed for our little bundle of joy, and the rest is history. PS even though he was the runt, Duke is now the biggest out of his brothers and sisters! Victory!

 4. Describe your perfect day with your Duke.

We'd start off with an extra long cuddle sesh in the morning of course. Then I'd spoon feed Duke some applesauce, his favorite. We'd go to the doggy beach, also a Duke fave. Back to Duke being a dummy, he doesn't understand that he's got to open his mouth when he's panting, so a lot of the times he runs around the beach with his mouth closed and his saliva builds up and floods out of his mouth, making it look like he's got rabies. This doesn't always make him the most popular. Poor guy. Then we'd go to Whole Foods for lunch, because Duke always gets a lot of attention when we sit outside and he thrives off of that.



5. How does Duke factor into your blog?

Duke is the primary super model for Jess Loves This Life. Whenever I write a post and I don't have a picture that relates to it, I just throw in a Duke pic. Because, why not??

6. What is the funniest/worst/confusing thing you have ever seen Duke do?

So one night, Duke was sleeping next to me as he usually does, and he started moving around like crazy. I frantically woke up thinking he was having a seizure or something, but it turns out he was "running" in his sleep. Whatever he was chasing in that dream must have been running REALLY fast, because he fell off the bed. I turned the lights on for him and he looked at me really weird, as if he were thinking "what the heck am I doing down here?". He tried jumping onto the bed, but he must have still been half asleep because he didn't make it up. He tried once more, and again he didn't jump high enough. He gave me one more look and curled up on the floor and fell asleep immediately.



7. What would you name a blog that only featured your dog?

The obvious name would be The Adventures of King Duke. But also, I think he could potentially star in a How to be a Dog for Dummies blog.

I told you Jess was great!  Please go show her some love over on  Bloglovin, Instagram, and Twitter!

Being A Girl Is Hard Work - Listed Friday

Today I had a lovely time looking for a new media stand for my living room, returning my shopping splurge at Target, and taking Penny to the vet.  When I got home I went to the restroom and look at my pretty face.  I then noticed I had a lovely dot smack dab between my eyes.  Turns out I poked myself with my mascara wand in the morning and did not notice.  I then proceeded to walk around town with a rather offensive mascara bindi on my forehead.  In case you did not just google it, a bindi is the red dot an Indian woman may wear on her forehead.

After this awesome makeup snafu I realized that being a girl is super hard work.  A guy would never have to worry about going to Target with a mascara mark on his face.  They just get to not wear make up and have people say they are handsome.  Easiest life ever.

I then came up with a list of all the ways that being a girl is just plain hard for Listed Friday.

[caption id="attachment_1506" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Please note the mascara between my eyes.[/caption]

 

- Children. As a girl you are automatically forced to share a public restroom with all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they all pee in the women's room and it is a pain.  Children crawling under your stall, crying that they don't want to share a stall with their mommy, spilling water and soap all over the counter and not cleaning it up, and the smell of baby poo in every. public. restroom.  I did not choose to have children I should not have to deal with all the children of the world and their bowel movements, even if Jesus does love them.

- Childbearing. While we are speaking of children what is with women being the only gender to have them.  Moms out there you can yell at me, but I am not a fan of getting fat and stretched out and then pushing something out of me.  Maybe if I was a mom or pregnant I would sing a different tune, for today right now, It just blows that the gender I am is the one that has to endure this trauma.

- Fat. The fact that our bodies just hold fat a little bit better than men's bodies.  Come on man!  Again it is because of the whole having a child thing.  Children really are selfish.

- Equal Pay Acts. The fact that the Senate had to even have a vote for an Equal Pay Bill so women can make the same amount of money as a man for equal work.  It boggles my mind that as a nation we have to try to make things fair in the work place still.  Women make $0.77 for every dollar a man makes for the same job.  Why?  I just can not figure out how this happens in our world today.  And if you do not think this is really happening I promise it is.  Email me and I am more than happy to tell you some personal experiences.

- Slower metabolisms.  Men can eat more and get away with it.  I am friends with a married couple that wanted to lose weight.  They both joined Weight Watchers together.  The woman could eat 1200 calories a day and the man could eat 2000.  He would pig out on pizza and still lost more weight than she did.  Being a girl is hard.

- Blogging.  It is a proven statistic that 97% of bloggers are women.  Blogging takes a lot of time from your life and requires much creativity and business savvy.  It is probably why the land of the blogs seems to be testosterone free.

- Make up.  Just the fact that we wear it and men do not.  The fact that men are still deemed handsome or hot without make up and women without make up are haggard or tired.  It is a sad sad world.

- Feminine products, all of them.  It is just a lot of stuff we have to buy on a regular basis

- Undergarments.  So if we are good people and don't free boob it on a regular basis we have to buy twice the amount of undergarments as the men folk.  I also think we pay a lot more for our undergarments too. Stupid boobs, if you aren't too big or too small you are just too expensive.

- All the tests. Mammograms, paps, ultrasounds, test of all relationships, etc.

- Waxing.  Why can't women be valued for being hairy?  I am just saying it is a ton of money and pain just to wax what needs to be waxed.

On the other side it is wonderful to know that I will never have to worry about what a prostate really is or have a doctor check it.  I also don't have to pay on a date so I guess I will take what I can get.

In order to participate in Listed Friday you will need to:

- Follow Erica Jacquline  on Bloglovin (It is only polite)
- Write a post about anything you want that includes a list of sorts
- Add the Listed Button to your post
- Come by Erica Jacquline on Fridays and add your link
- Read other posts, comment, and make new friends
- Shower, rinse, repeat each week

What are somethings that make being a girl hard, but are totally worth it because being a girl ain't so bad. 

April Is For The Dogs

As i pointed out yesterday I am enjoying my week as a Stay At Home Dog Mom.  Yesterday was no exception.  I went out with Penny and my a friend who is also a teacher and enjoyed a day for the dogs.

We lazed about at the Lazy Dog Cafe in Brea with all the dogs, including the Yorkies in strollers, yes people had their dogs at a restaurant in strollers #ItIsADog!



We then went to the best dog park ever and played with the doggies.  As I have pointed out before dogs just love me, you can read about it here.  I was like a little dog magnet.  They flocked to me and jumped in my lap, followed me when I walked around, and insisted I play catch with them.  I decided since I was the Dog Whisperer I needed to rename all the dogs at the park.  Penny and I had a great time with Reginald, Scotty McDectective, Ebony (Penny was Ivory), and Thomas.

This is Thomas, He adopted me because his human wouldn't play with him.

While I am doing my best to avoid any responsibility and enjoy my days of sunshine and freedom, I realize many of you are busy at work and at school.  I decided it was a good idea to stop rubbing in my good fortune and have my friend Nina from The Grand Adventures of Me take over for the day.



If you are not currently following Nina do yourself and get over to her blog.  She is a gem of a human and a funny funny girl!  Some things that make me love this girl are the fact that she is majoring in English and Psychology, she has the most compassionate heart for people and is passionate about ending human trafficking, and she shares the best stories about stealing tampons.  I am just going to stop talking and let Nina take it from here.

Hello, fellow friends of Erica Jacquline. My name is Nina and I hail from the East Coast: Tennessee to be exact, where we they sing rocky top with pride. #GoVols #ICouldCareLess

If you are a school teacher like Erica, or a student like myself, the month of April is probably the closest thing to hell on Earth.

 Summer break is literally just a sneeze away, but you can't get there yet because you are drowning under piles of papers and papers and papers.

 And if you've ever had a sneeze built up and you can't let it go, you understand that miserable feeling. Yes, that is how April feels to those of us chained to the education ball.

Not to mention, if you live in a temperate climate, it is finally warming up and all you want to do is dance around in fields of wheat and set up your hammock and read books outside and subject your pasty white skin to the sun's harmful UV rays in hopes that you will soon look like Snookie instead of Olaf the Snowman.

 But oh wait! You have to be inside (papers on papers on papers, remember?)

So this pull to go in either direction makes for a lot of stress, right?

Normal bloggers just go to the wine cellar and destress. But as for me, my school has a strict no-alcohol policy, and technically I'm not old enough to consume alcohol. 20 years and 10 months down: 56 days to go.

So because of all that, I have to come up with ways to destress without drinking a bottle of Plum Wine.  Because if I did drink wine, that is the wine I would drink.

 

1. Puppies. Obviously, Erica has Penny the Puppy and she's the cutest thing ever. However, I do not have a puppy. But I do have a postcard of Penny the Puppy and that's the cutest thing ever. It's proudly on my fridge. I go to the local puppy pound and play with all the dogs. Yes, I come out with welts (allergies) but I also come out as a happier person, that is until I am reminded that I won't see them next time I go. I convince myself it is because they all get good and loving homes.

2. Workout. I'm a runner, so that is obviously my workout of choice. But I also like to prove to others that my hips, indeed, don't lie. Zumba is where it is at when I'm wanting to feel sexy, sweaty, and awkward all at the same time. Other great workouts: Kickboxing (for all the aggression), Piloxing (for all the extra energy), and Sleeping. I'm pretty sure you burn calories while sleeping. We'll count it as a work out.

3. People watch. Just go to Walmart. Sit on the bench. And snapchat the most ridiculous looking people to your friends; add it to your story. Laugh for dayz. And by dayz I mean 10 seconds because that's the max time limit.

4. Marathon. Overwhelmed? Stressed? Up to your neck in responsibility? This is the perfect time to start watching House of Cards or Scandal or whatever it is I see everyone tweeting about. Set aside a day to watch all the seasons. Netflix: Can't watch just one.

5. Eat your Pancakes. Do something productive every day. This is the only bullet point I have that doesn't involve avoidance. We see how I handle stress. This is the most important one, though. Doing something productive every day means you actually have time to go play with the puppies. And we all love puppies.

I am firmly against conclusions because they are hard, I don't like them, and there is never a good way to tie up all the loose ends. I hope you enjoyed this list, and be sure to head over to The Grand Adventures of Me because we have a lot of fun with even more lists and fun stories about buying tampons in small towns and other awkward stuff like that!

Thank you so much Nina for sharing your wisdom for surviving April!  I told you all that she was a gem, a funny gem.  Make sure you visit this lady on her Bloglovin and say hello on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

Oh and before I forget do not forget about the totally amazing new link up that is taking over the intervebs!   Come back here tomorrow and link up your post that involves a list.

SAHDM - A Stay At Home (Dog) Mom

What day is it today?  I have lost all concept of time and it is glorious.  As I might have mentioned before I am on Spring Break this week.  I know a ton of you who are probably very jealous and I totally get it.  I will just let you know at the school I work for I get no paid vacation time and I am still working from home a little this week. So maybe just be a little jealous, not change your whole career so you can have Spring Break jealous.

This year's spring break came at me late, y'all it is almost May!  I was one worn down kid and I made ZERO plans.  While I have been at home the last five days It dawned on me that with my new addition of Penny when I have large chunks of time off I am a SAHM or Stay At Home Mom for the non-mommy blog readers.  I reckon to make it even more appropriate I am a Stay At Home (Dog) Mom.  Here is my very intense schedule for all of you who are considering being poor and staying home with your dog everyday.

My life as a Stay At Home (Dog) Mom

 

7:00 Wake up and take Penny outside

7:15 Make coffee and write a blog post for the day

8:30 Publish post and read a few other blogs

9:00 Take Penny on a 45 minute walk

9:45 Eat breakfast

10:00-12:00 Watch episodes of Sex and the City on E!

12:00 Have a snack

12:00 - 6:00 Hang out, see a movie, go to lunch with a friend, go shopping, laze by the pool

6:00 Take Penny for another walk

6:30 Eat dinner

7:00 - 9:00 Work on some blog stuff, clean the house, maybe wash my clothes, maybe not.

9:00 Yoga or Pilates

10:00 Read in bed for an hour

11:00 Try to fall asleep and not be scared of all the noises that happen after 11pm that you have never heard before because you are too tired when you actually have to work.

It is a really difficult life.  I thank you so much for your patience while I try and get things done around here.

Because I have had so much free time I decided it was time to catch up on some movies.  First up I actually watched one of those Hallmark movies that was on TV, told you I was a stay at home mom.

It was the one with Katherine McPhee and she dreams of her new boyfriend and then he was real.  As I watched the movie I realized that is pretty much how things are going to have to work out for me too.  It seemed more realistic than actually meeting a man in the wild, like I have been trying to anyway!

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I also ventured out in public to see Captain America.  I am just going to say what everyone should be thinking - BORING!  I just cannot get on the Cap bandwagon.  I fell asleep during the first movie and I wasn't going to see this one either. However, a coworker practically insisted I see it and love it so I took his word for it, I will never take his word again!

I will say that I thought Katherine McPhee did a much better job as The Winter Solider than she did in the Hallmark movie.  Sure it was a bit of a stretch for her, but she totally transferred herself.  Well almost, she kept the same hair.

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Alright lovelies I am off.  The time is 8:45 so you can figure out what I will be up to now.